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Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
There's even glitter on my cock...
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