Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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