the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
