Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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