i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize