Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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