I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
