I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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