You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
