there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
