never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
