went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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