piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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