YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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