Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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