I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
