and next time when you feel me up, do it right
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
