Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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