Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I will die if light touches me.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
