so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
