i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
