Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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