she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize