youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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