i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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