Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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