Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
