Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
