Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
