omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
