meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
