i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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