Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
