Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sorry about my life...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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