im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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