she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
