nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
