Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
