just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize