He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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