we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
