I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
