So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
