Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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