yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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