If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
