My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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