when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
