it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
