Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
