So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
