Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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