my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We had to coat check the pizza.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
