i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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