The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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