so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
