Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
