You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
