Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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