if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
