Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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