Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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