I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Your cock deserves a montage
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
