It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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