somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
areolas are like halos for boobs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
