Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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