well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize