I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
