i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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