The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So vagazzling was a success
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
